In Fanel's Fields
by SilvusFyrehauk
Summary: Uhm..It's a parody of the World War poem "In Flander's Fields"...using anime characters to portray it! I think listening to too many people recite this is the cause of this insanity.


Disclaimer: Eh…this poem does NOT, I repeat, does NOT belong to me. It belongs to John McCrae, and I doubt this rather humorous piece would do him justice. Sorry. Oh, yeah, and some of the words are different. If you want the real poem e-mail me. The parts of the poem are indicated in s.

Warning: You may be subjected to random bursts of laughter. Don't come crying to me when you get locked up because your family thinks you're on drugs when you laugh at something nobody else thinks is funny. May be flammable if it burns. Doesn't require batteries. Beware of the dog that isn't there. Maybe dangerous to some (you know who you are). Okay, read now. ^-^

In Fanels Fields

The scene opens to a ragged, hanging white sheet, painted messily with the words "In Fanels Fields". Black and white feathers are pasted everywhere. Kenshin Himura runs by, minus his usually skirt/pants…thing….. Pink boxers are seen. O.O Kenshin rips the sheet down and runs off with it. Screen switches. 

In Fanels fields the poppies blow

between the crosses, row on row,

that mark our stage; 

Scene opens to a flower field. Rinoa stands in the middle, the wind blowing dramatically, flower petals (poppies?)flying off behind her. One of the fans dies and the wind stops. Rinoa sweatdrops. -.-' In the background, several crosses are seen…crosses wrapped with black straps and white cloth…A Wolfwood pops out from behind, laughing as only Nicolas D. Wolfwood can. Because that's what he does. He laughs and smokes and kills people. -.-' Anyway………

He triggers the straps, and the large machine gun is seen gleaming as the cloth falls away. He takes up the gun and runs after the nearest victim. Rinoa's eyes grow as big as dinner plates and she runs away, shrieking "AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" 

"AH HAHAHA!" Wolfwood gives chase. 

A lil Wolfwood angel and devil sit on the other crucifixes. They glare at each other, then roll into a catfight. 

Meanwhile, the director sweatdrops as only anime characters can, and puts her head in her hands. "I never could get that part straight…!" 

Next scene. 

And in the sky

the creatures**, ** singing, crazily fly

Scarce heard amid Cross Punisher's wrath 

Above the carnage below, Sephiroth flies in circles, (he only has one wing, remember?) singing "One-Winged Angel". Van Fanel flies loops around poor, crippled Sephiroth, laughing at him and trying to sing 

"White Dove" at the same time. They create a horrible ruckus and the ground splits open, Folken comes up from Hell, and begins to flog Van with his wings. Vincent Valentine flies out of nowhere, (much to the protests of the rest of the cast, considering he doesn't have feathered wings in his Chaos form) joining the wildly spinning ball of feathers, wings, clothing, skin, fried chicken, and cows. A glove flies out and lands on Sephiroth, who managed to avoid the fight and is still singing and flying in circles, trying to be heard above the din. 

Sephiroth freaks out, as the glove still has a hand in it, and begins calling for his mommy(both of them) until he is shot down by a lone gunman from below. Sephiroth crashes down and Red XIII runs out and drags him by his one wing back to Irvine, who says sadly, "Never did like to see a creature in pain." 

Vash the Stampede, who was watching, begins to cry, whimper, and in general make noises no grown man should be able to, especially not one so tall and broad-shouldered. He limps weakly over to Irvine, sniffling pitifully. "Why…did you…kill him??" He manages in a quavering voice. "Rem t-told me no one had the right to take the life of another…especially one unable to defend himself…" 

Irvine's eyes grow wide, and he pokes the inert Sephiroth with the tip of his gun before answering. That's not a man, it's a big duck." He says. "And one that was in pain, too, see? It only has one wing!" 

Vash is not convinced, and continues to sob pathetically until a doughnut vendor walks by. Then he perks up, tackling the vendor instantly. A few round holes fly up in the air, and the attacking typhoon catches them expertly on the barrel of his silver six-shooter.

At last, a triumphant Vash carries away armloads of doughnuts, smiling brightly. The doughnut vendor lies still and motionless on the poppies. 

A blizzard of black and white feathers shower from above. The Fanel family, after whom this parody is named, trade blows and arguments. Vincent in Chaos seems to have disappeared.

"This field is MINE!" Whap!

"No, you mean needle-noggin!! Just because you're older doesn't mean you have to take everything!" A sharp flap. 

"Yeah it does!" Swap!

"Noooooooooo! And…and…you're so mean to me always!" The white winged one sniffles. "My poor, poor dove…." Both wings. Swoop!

"It was a pigeon, and it crapped on my robe. It deserved to die!" Flup! (Sorry, I was running out of sound effects.)

"That wasn't fair! It couldn't help itself!" 

I think we'll leave that argument at that ^_^; 

And below….A huge, uneven crater is torn in the flowers, and Wolfwood bounds away after Rinoa, who continues to run and shriek. Run. Shriek. Run. Shriek. AHH! @.@ 

The sounds of the Fanel feud (Whee!), Sephiroth's weak singing, who is currently being dragged away by his hair by Irvine, and Vash's gulping and muttering of how good those doughnuts are, is drowned out by the rattle of Wolfwood's machine gun. 

In the midst of it all, Carbuncle flies up out of his little hole, and casts Reflect on everyone. 

We are the living. Short days ago,

we were in normal anime, or games, saw normal things. 

Hated and were hated, by evil villains, now 

we run around like crazed weasels

In Fanels fields. 

The sky grows dark. Chaos is throw out of hammer space, along with Heero's gun, Squall's gunblade, and various other items that appear out of nowhere, and go into nowhere. A cow runs by, spins around in three circles, moos twice and falls over. Chaos/ Vincent recuperates quickly and eats the cow. He changes back into Vincent and has a giant, cow shaped midsection. The cow begins to walk, and Vincent is carried away. 

Van and Folken land on their faces, and begin to bob their heads and cluck like chickens. O.o; 

Wolfwood has stopped his pursuit of Rinoa, and he and Vash are staggering around drunkenly. They fall over and Vash crushes a table that came out of hammer space. Because that's what he does. Wolfwood lands on the comatose doughnut vendor. 

Rinoa is walking around until Carbuncle opens its hole beneath her feet and she falls in. 

Red is dragging around a 10 ft long sword; he is cutting the grass as he walks. Irvine is chasing poor, one-winged Sephiroth around with a butcher's knife. 

Tonberry walks up, DOINK's some random bystander in the leg, and the random person dies. 

Kuroneko, the cardboard cat, is being dragged around by some kid on a leash. The cat "Nyaa"s and leaves the picture.

To you from failing claws we throw

the torch, be yours to throw it away. 

If ye break contact with us who whine

Then we shall finally sleep 

Though poppies grow

In Fanel's fields

The Gundam team suddenly drops down from above, and Relena makes a quick appearance, standing in middle of the flowers and YODELING. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooo!" The Yodeling Idiot yodels annoyingly. . Wing Zero Custom swoops out of nowhere, stamping Relena into a bloody pulp on the ground with its heel. An inter-anime party is thrown. :-D 

The GFs throw a drinking contest, and Wolfwood and Vash are the final contestants. Both of them have double visions, and odds are calculated by in a low voice by Sanosuke Sagara. O.o? 

Suddenly they both hit the table, and they are poked several times by a spork and a toilet brush. A big brawl breaks out over who passed out first, when Quezacoatl hands the winner's cup, shaped, strangely, like a torch, to the runner-up: Cait Sith, the now drunken cat. The cat throws it away. 

In the midst of it all, Deathscythe suddenly shifts out of "Park" and goes to hit on Lady Liberty. No one notices. 

Vash suddenly wakes up, the imprint of a toilet brush on his forehead. A pair of gold eyes flash through his head, and a twisted look appears on his face. The Angel Arm appears from his arm and blows the whole place up. 

Soon, in some dark, reeking, flame-broiled place, Raijin, who was present at the party and is accompanied by Fujin, whines. "I knew we shouldn't have come, ya know? I mean, but who knew, ya know? But that weird guy should'ntna had that last Wild Turkey, ya know?! And ya know—!!" 

Wolfwood side glances at him. "And you think you feel bad. I'm a priest, too." 

Vash spares a look at him. His eyes get all big and watery, and he bursts into tears. "I can't believe I killed all those people…and myself..!!" 

Ominous music plays DUN DUN DUN. A slender form is outlined; a feminine evil laugh is heard. All lights are trained on the woman, and everyone present gasps at the identity of the demoness. 

It's Rem. 

Another black screen. Kenshin runs by again, the words THE END are seen amid the folds of his skirt/pants. 

Somewhere, somehow, Kuroneko says, "Nyah." 

* * * * * 

Ok, I have no idea what I was on when I wrote this. I'm sorry, and I recommend you read something else soon after reading this, to hopefully dim the memory of such an awful piece of work. It's my first humor fic, so try not to be as hard on me as I am on myself. -.-' 


End file.
